Avast, Ye Bilge Rats!

Imagine being a man of action, renowned for his effectiveness and legacy, plopped into an ageless world where life, death, and deeds are meaningless. Where the forgetful whimsy and capriciousness of a boy gives him more power than your lifetime of grueling lessons and a hard-won rise to infamy.

On this day in 1904, “Peter Pan; or, the Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up” premiered at Duke of York’s Theatre, in London.  The fury and frustration of the iconic main antagonist, Captain Hook, is the subject of a song by Mother’s Mistakes called “Every Devil”.

Listen (lyrics follow):

Avast, ye bilge rats!
Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen
I’ll not be caught ‘tween the Devil and the deep sea
And ye may lay to that

Blackbeard, your lessons were harsh and cruel
But apt you found your young boatswain
For Shakespeare and Shelley, for gold and jewel
For fell intent, my dubious fame

To the sword with Silver in deadly duel
My hook in him is etched in pain
And chasing his whale, the obsessive fool
My prowess Ahab could not dare to deign

Arrogant boy you no doubt believe
This curve of iron to be my namesake
But I was old when you shortened my sleeve
I was Hook ‘fore my solace you raked

From me mine own wrist did you cleave
And my deadly sword hand did you take
Tossed to the croc with a careless heave
For this I shall make you walk the plank

Pan! Wait ’til I get my hook in you
On my honor I solemnly swear
To dawn the day you’ll rue

Pan! Your days are numbered and few
You cannot escape my wrath forever
And here I am ageless too

Better perhaps for Hook that he had never been born
From the malice in that name I cannot now be torn
Like an old boot, it fits better the more it is worn
But I never cared for the names mothers use to adorn

I grow tired of the killing, plunder and theft
Oft I have wondered on my long-delayed death
It waits for me just beyond Pan’s last breath
The only great adventure I have left

Run Pan, flee the Jolly Roger
Save what Lost Boys you can
Else I’ll add them to my roster
I’ll make a graveyard of Neverland

You’ll see the rage still in this old codger
You’ll taste what it takes to make a man
I’ll bring Hell to this place and boil it hotter
If it’s what I must do to catch Peter

Pan! Wait ’til I dig my hook in you
Every dog may have his day
But every devil must have his due

Pan! I’ll flay you alive, it’s true
I’ll silence your endless youth
If it’s the very last thing I do