“I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing.” -Chuck Palahniuk

Michael Lejeune says:

I’ve only a moment to tell you what I see
Because right now I’ve got somewhere to be
But I’ll take this moment to communicate to you
What you can see in this picture’s view

There’s a firetruck firstly, that much is clear
A police motorcyle is in front of that, quite near
And then a squad car with its door open wide
And entirely absent of an officer inside

To the left you can see a blue car that’s been hit
But I know what’s wrong and that’s not it
The real problem is much more confounding I fear
You see there’s another car, but it disappeared

After it struck the blue car, it flew off the road
And into the ditch that is a puddle’s abode
With a great splash the car fell right in
And went under, never to emerge again

The officers prodded the puddle with sticks
They’ve been at it since a quarter to six
Some fellows dropped by from the university too
But it’s now past noon and no one has a clue

Traffic is allowed to squeeze past in a line
All the cars get through eventually, even mine
But the owner of the blue car and the officers remain
Like the King’s men, they can’t put it together again

It’s a beautiful day, it’s warm and bright
Not a ghost nor skeleton nor black cat in sight
Nothing to give these investigators a fright
But I think things would be different at night

The fact of the circumstance is rather spooky in nature
And will haunt their dreams later I’ll wager
For now they’re alright with only question-asking
But I know they’re really terrified and masking

I suppose I should reveal my role in all this
Though I’m only driving through, you should not miss
That I know a bit too much about the situation here
Than I should. Isn’t that queer?

You see, I know the name of the puddle in the ditch
You could say we go way back, myself and Mitch
But it would be more accurate to say we go deep
Or even that we are one, if you will make that leap

Mitch is exceptionally hungry, he always is
It’s kind of a thing that’s uniquely his
But not for the usual junk that falls in
Mitch has a taste for the thing we call sin

And me, my job is basically the helper-outer
And since I’m the one that can speak, I’m the title-touter
Together we’re known as the Eraser Twins
It’s a funny name depending on what language it’s in

What we do is rather simple, you’ll agree
There’s not much backstory to Mitch and me
We consume the people who deserve a shove
And we never, ever can eat enough

So next time you’re considering misbehaving
Remember that it might be your own life you’re saving
When you choose to abstain from a shameful misdeed
And avoid getting a shove from Mitch and me.

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